PathWell resource

When an Adult Feels Stuck: Making Room for a Conversation

SAMHSA recommends listening without judgment and asking how to support someone who wants help. A guide to conversations about adult daily-life difficulties.

Two adults talking beside a kettle and terracotta mugs in a softly lit kitchen with sage cabinets.

This guide focuses on supportive family conversations about adult mental health. This guide is for families in Manassas and Prince William County who want to make room for an adult’s perspective. Keep the conversation focused on what the adult wants to share, rather than deciding the cause of their difficulties or choosing their next step.

How can I open the conversation without assuming a cause?

SAMHSA recommends listening without judgment and speaking with kindness. It defines open-ended questions as questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer.[1]

An original conversation starter to adapt: “How have things been feeling for you lately?” Listen to the answer without turning it into a conclusion about why the person feels stuck.

Use curiosity rather than a verdict. Instead of opening with what you think the adult should be doing, invite their description of how things are now.

What part of daily life can the adult describe?

NIMH encourages people to consider how their symptoms affect daily life. For this family conversation, keep the focus on the adult’s own description, rather than interpreting their experience for them.[2]

Routines, work or study are possible topics to invite—not conclusions about someone’s health. Let the adult choose what matters to them. These original prompts offer a starting point:

  • “Which part of your day feels difficult?”
  • “What would you like to be easier?”
  • “What would you like me to understand about that?”

Stay with the priority they name instead of replacing it with a family goal or deadline.

How can I offer practical help without taking over?

SAMHSA advises asking how you can support someone if they want to get help. Start with their preference rather than an action you have already chosen.[1]

An original prompt to adapt: “What help, if any, would you like from me?” Make the offer a question, leaving the adult room to say what role they want you to have.

If the adult chooses a conversation with a health care provider, ask about their preference for company. NIMH notes that some people prefer a friend or family member throughout an appointment; others prefer to meet alone first and have a trusted person join when treatment recommendations are discussed.[3]

You might ask: “Would you prefer to speak alone first, or would you like me alongside you?” Keep any offer of involvement tied to what the adult wants.

Sources

  1. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: How to Talk to Someone About Help (opens in a new tab)
  2. National Institute of Mental Health: My Mental Health: Do I Need Help? (opens in a new tab)
  3. National Institute of Mental Health: Tips for Talking With a Health Care Provider About Your Mental Health (opens in a new tab)

For general education. Discuss personal care questions with a qualified clinician.